Punctual

March 20th, 2017 – 2:13am PST:

There are two schools of thought when it comes to interview decorum. Either you dress up, or you show up in the type of clothes you’d wear on any normal day. I’ve heard well made arguments from both sides. Personally, I wear a suit. Just the one, actually. In my case though, I always seem to weigh substantially more or less than the last time I’ve worn it. I’ve blown off buttons in bathroom stalls minutes before an interview, and I’ve gotten a tour of a facility while looking like I just power-sweated 80 lbs away (or killed a much larger man and stolen his suit). Still, I refuse to buy a new one. Fuck it, ya know? I’ll play the game, just don’t expect me to be any good at it.

In my opinion, interviews seem to be more like obstacle courses than anything else. They’ve already seen your resume, so they know where you’ve worked, as well as your experience level. The fact that you’re sitting there is proof that you at least have the minimum they’re looking for. The experience level of the other applicants is a factor you can’t control, obviously, so the rest is just about NOT saying anything stupid while you’re there. That’s something I’ve learned the hard way. When I was 17 I found myself waiting patiently in a hallway prior to an interview. I rehearsed my lines as I sat there, intending to give off the best impression possible. The door open, and a woman appeared, who said:

“Hi! You must be Jonathan.”

Naturally, I replied: “Hi, I’m Jonathan.”

*sigh* Interviews……

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