SORRY, DOUG

I’ve got a weird problem.

See, a few months back, I realized I needed another charger for my phone. I was down to one, and it was getting annoying having to move it from room to room on the occasions my phone was running low on power. So, naturally, I ordered a replacement.

However, when I used the replacement charger, my screen itself wouldn’t ever lock and go dark. I’d plug it in, set it down, and a second later the screen would flicker on. And that bitch would stay on. All night. Naturally, I messed with the settings, I stared at it blankly, and tried a bunch of other shit. No matter what I did, though, the screen stayed lit in the darkness of my bedroom.

It was bemusing, and the first night I just grumbled and turned it over upside down, where it dimly illuminated the surrounding wood of the nightstand. Before long, though, I realized that, ultimately, nothing was going to fix the problem. I’d tried everything that could be tried.

And it continued to be a problem.

Nine days after buying it, in the dead of night, I accidentally called someone from the far distant fucking past. We’re talking, like… 2012. It was dark, the screen was (obviously) unlocked, and my sleepy fingers apparently must have triggered the phone app, the address book, and a contact entry as I wrapped my hand around the screen.

Serves me right, I’d say. I brought that awkward scenario onto myself.

That being said, I am at least thankful for the analogy it provides.

You know?

In any scenario, we have options. Typically, we have a lot of them.

Except, maybe… we don’t really like any of them all that much. None of them are going to bring… well, the direct outcome we’d like to see.

In my case, with this analogy, I didn’t like the idea of action itself.

I didn’t want to mess with returning the charger, I didn’t want to drop it off in a UPS box, and I didn’t want to take a loss on it by trashing it.

I didn’t want to admit I might not have read some fine print about… fucking.. voltage, and amps, and universal something something something ratings.

But it’s easier to realign priorities, and certainly to recognize procrastination, when it’s 3am in the morning, and an old coworker’s voice on the phone is saying: “Hello? Hello? Is this… Jonathan?”

The initial problem could have been resolved.

Solutions were abundant.

I just didn’t like them. I didn’t like what they entailed, and I didn’t like what they would require of me.

Instead, I did nothing.

The ideal would have been for there to not be a problem to start with.

…yet that’s unrealistic. A charger isn’t going to re-wire itself and suddenly begin working differently.

Would a future update possibly resolve the issue?

Possibly. Sure.

Unlikely, though.

It seems like that’s the crux of it, honestly.

Holding out hope in absurd circumstances.

“Maybe this will fix itself.”

Ah, that bitter old chestnut. You know it too, right?

“I don’t want to deal with this.”

It’s the mindset, really, that gets us.

It’s the mindset that holds us back.

It’s inaction.

Inaction, in the face of problem for which there is no ideal solution.

And then the situation snowballs, suddenly, and you find yourself saying:

“Doug, dude… I am… so, so sorry.”

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