March 8th, 2017 – 2:18am CST:

Flying with pets is… uh… interesting. People that wouldn’t normally approach me often strike up a conversation. Sometimes their comments are… ambiguous? My beard is a bit red, and my dog’s hair is red and white. It would seem comparisons are often made between the two of us. The flight itself wasn’t really typical. It ended up being delayed an hour because “a piece of material was hanging from the wing”. Apparently a mechanic had to be called to “cut it off”. I’m not making this up. I didn’t even realize there WAS material in/on the wing. What type of material was it? In my ignorance of basic aeronautics, I’m just imagining cotton sheets stapled to the inside of the wing. I’m sure it’s much more high-tech then that, but you know, sometimes the reality of such things isn’t nearly as sophisticated as we expect. Regardless, the material itself couldn’t have been that crucial. The pilot seemed about as concerned by the whole ordeal as I do when I trim away the freakishly long, blond eyebrow hairs I sometimes get.

As it happened, the landing was pretty rough as well. I was sitting next to the window, and could both see and feel the plane drifting left and right as we were about to touch down. Some people seemed a bit worried. Personally, I just kept thinking the worst part about dying in a plane crash would be missing out on the top notch breakfast burritos I eat every morning at the cafeteria before work. That, and some cookies I’m expecting to get in the mail soon. I like food a lot, as you might have gathered.

…now I’m wondering if the comparisons between my dog and I are more accurate then I’d realized.