June 26th, 2017 – 12:01am PST:

Legend tells of a pair of friends who, amid a trivial disagreement, became bitter enemies. Each side contended that they alone stood upon the moral high ground. Voices were raised as the argument progressed, while counterpoints and interjections charged the thin air with tension and the promise of violence and bloodshed. Experts were consulted. Lines were drawn. The situation seemed poised to escalate, and none could say who would carry the day and emerge victorious.

It would be my delight to tell you that the fiendish William, a curse upon his name, was vanquished and hurled from the battlements: his petty arguments dismissed and utterly ended.

Sadly, that did not come to pass. He still believes he was right, and continues to spread his anti-cheese propaganda at every opportunity.